Thoughts on loss and youth...
2/17/23 Friends are dying. It's pieces of my youth gone. The living embodiments of my memories subtracted from this world. It's a strange feeling. It makes me think that perhaps none of it was real. Without physical corraberation maybe I just made it up. Already my memories feel dissociated from my reality. I feel a burden not to forget the uniqueness of every person I've ever known because once they are gone there is no proof. My mind already feels faulty and I will forget. I think it is the fading of memory that scares me most. Goodbye Eric Lappegaurd, Jessica French, Todd Foster (and as of yesterday), Jenny Lovro. So many strong and mixed feelings I have about you all. You were all so impactual in your own way. Good and bad. It just feels so weird to transport myself back and then remember you are no longer here. I have to remember that because someone dies it does not mean that my history dies with them.